FLASHES – Chapter 54 – After Sasha’s departure


Part One – There

(Eastern Hemisphere)

CHAPTER FIFTY FOUR – AFTER SASHA’S DEPARTURE

The period when Sasha had already left and I had not yet gotten ready seemed uncertain to me. On the one hand, I also wanted to emigrate. On the other hand, unlike Sasha, I did not feel ready for such a step. Well, what I was able to do? To teach physics and mathematics! Was this a necessary specialty “over there”? And the language… until you master it properly!

Of course, I had no idea then that in a free country you could open your own school or even a network of schools, publish your own textbooks, introduce new advanced teaching methods, and the like. Those who did this in practice achieved success and, I think, received satisfaction from their profession. And I was thinking as what specialist should I come there? Biophysicist – ha-ha-ha! That would be a joke! Being a physicist is even funnier. My brain was feverishly searching for solutions…

In addition, my family situation has not been fully clarified. The father was not yet completely free and had not completely decided his fate. He did not live at home. Hmm, yes, we didn’t have enough space – only two rooms without amenities for four, and Rima had an empty three-room apartment with all amenities for two; Mom’s finances were tight, but Rima’s were at ease.

And Volya made the difficult decision to change his family. It was not for nothing that my mother called herself Cassandra; she predicted how everything would happen at the funeral of Rima’s husband.

I think that my mother was the most worried: she waited and waited and waited! It was no longer so important for me to have my father nearby, my views had already been formed, and Maya generally had to get used of having a dad.

I felt sorry for my father – his life had gone awry, and he tried to fix it as best as he could. No, of course, I would do it differently, but… I could not blame him for this. It seemed to me that I was calmly enduring changes, or rather, the permanence of the family composition, but one episode showed that this was not the case.

We were unexpectedly visited by a bailiff:

“Neiman is not paying the lawsuit, I have to make the inventory of property.”

“This is a mistake,” I objected, “Neumann is not registered here and has not lived for eighteen years. Tomorrow he will call you and either pay you or give you his new address for an inventory of the property, and I’m going now to the military prosecutor.”

“Where are you going, Nick?” Mom got worried.

“To the prosecutor’s office, I told you!”

I really rushed to the prosecutor’s office and, furious at what was happening, yelled at the girl secretary,

“I need to see the prosecutor immediately!”

“You are welcome. He’s just returned,” the secretary said calmly, “Piotr Ivanovich, a young man is here to see you.”

Shaking with rage, I burst into the prosecutor’s study and growled,

“A bailiff comes to my house and tries to make an inventory of property, according to someone else’s claim! Is this socialist legality?!” and without remembering myself, I slammed my fist on the polished table.

The prosecutor, apparently, had seen things worse then these.

“Calm down,” he said without raising his tone, “Zinochka, bring cold water to the young man. Now we will decide everything with you.”

And he really settled everything in ten minutes.

This memory shows that my nerves were tense. The situation was not as simple as it sometimes seems now…

Gradually everything calmed and settled down. Only my mother was horrified for many years, how she did not listen to her parents’ advice, and what tragic result this had led to…

But youth conquers everything. I still had a lot of friends, despite the fact that my closest friend Sasha dropped out of Soviet life, and my beloved classmate Zhanna dropped out of life at all. But in general, people around have become more active. Some got married, others packed their luggage and emigrated. And some did both.

I remember how Sasha’s cousin, Alik, got married, the same one who was hovering after Belka-Strelka. Actually, he was a womanizer and buzzed around a lot of women, but I understood him. I myself was looking for someone to flirt with.

One summer, after sending my mother and Maya on vacation, I went straight from the train station to the ice cream parlor that I had loved since childhood. There, in addition to ice cream, they sold very lemony soda, and, having chosen this place since childhood, growing up, we remained faithful to it.

I didn’t look so great – unshaven, wet, in a word, a tough city-guy. In the summer it was hot even in the evenings, especially when you had to carry suitcases, but in this time of the year the townspeople moved away, and you had sharply decreased chance to encounter an acquainted.

Well, of course, everything turned out the other way around. Alik came into the cafe with a pretty girl and immediately sat down at my table. He introduced me to his “prospective bride” Anya, I joked, everyone laughed, and, in the end, we went to the cinema together. I didn’t think much about my stubble that evening; the stranger, although I liked her, was my friend’s girlfriend, which means she was taboo, and I didn’t care what I looked like. I could not even imagine that my unkempt appearance attracted attention. After the movie, Alik’s dad came for them and took everyone, including me, home. I lived closest to everyone, and dad wanted to take me first, but Anya protested,

“I need to go home urgently, I’m waiting for a call from Moscow.”

Well, okay. It was a good evening. Sometimes the thought came to me to take a walk to an already familiar address, but there was no serious excuse and I drove it away.

After some time, the memories of the chance meeting were completely replaced by the epic of Sasha’s departure. And six months later I ran into Anya at a bus stop.

“Hello,” she said, “Had not you remembered where I live?”

“Of course I remembered,” I answered, and my heart began to beat faster.

“Why didn’t you ever come to visit?”

“It’s not in my rules to visit my friends’ fiancées.”

“I was then only a “prospective bride.” It’s a pity you didn’t come in, I wanted to consult with you… However, it’s not too late now. Do you think I should marry Alik?”

Oh shit! What a question! Of course she is waiting for my revelations. But no! They would be a typical ladies’ man’s trick for an unfamiliar man, and not a sincere confession. I took a serious tone,

“In my opinion, your common professional interests in art are a big pro. It’s not very often that spouses have such luck.”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise,

“Do you sincerely think so?”

“Of course,” I nodded, “How else?”

“What if it turns out that we don’t love each other enough?”

“What can you do? So you’ll get divorced. Life doesn’t end there!”

She kissed me goodbye,

“Well, I invite you to my wedding. Alik will send you an official invitation.”

And I went to the wedding. To the wonderful, fun wedding, at which I only missed Sasha.

In the restaurant I noticed a very striking girl with green eyes.

“Who is this?” I asked a friend I knew from the pioneer camp days.

“Do you remember Misha Volkov? This is his sister – Beba. Actually, her name is Bella, and Beba is only for those close to her, be careful not to call her that, or you’re in trouble!”

“Why Beba? It’s a Jewish name.”

“And they are Jews, despite their surname. They were probably once Wolfs.”

The beautiful Jewish girl interested me. I approached her.

“Hello,” I said, “I liked you, and I would like to meet you.”

“This is not enough to get acquainted. I also need to like you.”

“And what should I do for this?”

“Impress me. Will you try it?”

“I’ll try to try…”

“Then bring me… green carnations! Right now!”

She narrowed her eyes defiantly, laughed and turned to the gaggle of girlfriends. And it was as if I was overcome with heat, and then with cold. Apparently the blood first rushed to the face, and then flowed back to the areas of the frontal lobes of the brain. My eyes scanned the banquet hall, and my thoughts raced in my head, sending impulses to my muscles.

My hands reached out to a vase with carnations and selected several large white flowers, then, like the manipulators of an android, they moved to the side, to a dish of herbs, from where they grabbed a bunch of cilantro and a sharp knife. Right on someone’s empty plate, I finely chopped cilantro, dipped the flowers into a jar of honey, traditionally placed on a wicker loaf of challah, then into finely chopped cilantro, and lo and behold, I had fluffy green carnations in my hands.

“Here there are!” I handed them to Beba, “I hope I was not late?”

Her face was burning. The eyes shone with joy.

“Not at all!” she said, “I was so afraid that you wouldn’t cope. I liked you right away, but a pretty face doesn’t mean anything.” Aren’t you offended?”

“What for?” I asked, “You gave me an opportunity to please you. Thank you. My name is Nick. Nick Neiman.”

“Is that you, Nick? I’ve heard so much about you! About CFI in the camp and about “Physicist Day” at the university. And my name is Bella Volkova, what I am saying, call me just Beba. Girls, look what a gift Nick just gave me! Has anyone ever seen green carnations?!”

It should be noted that in those days flowers were not yet painted in any color, and green carnations, indeed, were absolutely unprecedented.

Anya looked at me fixedly. It seemed reproachful to me.

“If you’re going to get something green as a gift, then let it be emeralds, but carnations are nice white,” she noted.

“Everyone prefers what she doesn’t have,” Baba retorted.

“Dear toasts continue!” the toastmaster announced, interrupting the discussion.

After the wedding, at which I received an invitation to the Volkovs’ house, I was instructed by my old friend from the pioneer camp,

“Beba really liked you. This is one hundred percent, she admitted it to my wife. But you should know some things. Firstly, Baba is having an affair with one guy. I think that out of her obstinacy, contrary to the norms, she sleeps with him. You must be prepared for this, although you have a very high chance of winning her forever. Secondly, she wasn’t joking about the stones; their family is very wealthy. This is probably a big plus. And thirdly, her dad works in the committee, that is, in the KGB. If you’re going to leave, that’s an ass.”

“Such an ass not for us,” I thought. The KGB did not suit me in any way. But, as they say, hope dies last.

I went to visit Beba to talk. Just in case. As my journalist friend Zhenya Galstyan believed, “Act according to the “love her, have her and leave her” scheme, and freedom of action is guaranteed to you!” But I wasn’t going to lie. I had to say that I intended to leave the country and see the reaction to my words.

The coffee was very tasty, Bella was charming, the rooms around were the height of convenience and comfort. And I, contrary to Zhenya’s scheme, shared plans that were so far from reality. But they simulated the situation of emigration known to everyone.

Beba turned pale. Her face was frozen in tension, her eyes – radiant green springs – filled with tears.

“I’m very grateful to you for your honesty,” she said. “I can’t break up with my family, and they won’t bless my way with you. It won’t even be so, if I break up.”

“We have symmetrical situations and similar feelings. It’s a pity they contrary in relation to citizenship.”

But that, of course, was not the point. What did we have between us? Well, one evening of empathy. These are not years of love and passion!

For the example of Sasha and Sonya, I knew that parents may be strongly against the emigration of their children, as Sonya’s dad was. But parents usually put the well-being of their children above their own interests. However, military and KGB officers, and especially high-ranking ones, should be avoided. And destroying other people’s families seemed immoral to me. I have always been impressed when children and parents were standing for the same, maybe because it was not so for me… But “not so” happened in other, much more prosperous families.

Remember the stories about Oleg (see Chapter 25). So, let me continue this topic, although chronologically some events occurred later.

Oleg and his wife Ida have a difficult relationship with their parents. And it’s all was about influence. Both Oleg’s mother and wife were strong personalities and in many ways led their husbands. But dual power is a complicated thing, so friction arose and… In a word, the children did not get along with Oleg’s parents and went to live with Ida’s grandfather, somewhere on the outskirts of the city. Once my wife and I visited them (I’m running ahead of time), and they treated us (horror!) boiled carrots. We heard a lot of hard stories from Oleg’s parents.

Parents told to children, “Who are we trying for? Both the apartment and good things are all for you, just live according to our standards of decency and behavior.”

And the kids had different rules. Mom, for example, could not stand it if her son washed women’s underwear… And, as a result, the children left home. But the worst thing is that they had nowhere to live, they huddled with their grandfather in one room. Grandfather spent the night in a tiny kitchen (vertically?) and, finally, Oleg and Ida applied for a leaving the country, as it was called then, “for permanent residence”.

And here came an unusual twist for our city. Oleg’s parents wrote a letter to the security authorities that they are against the departure of their son. That his mother is seriously ill and refuses his son in permission to leave. The drama is hard to describe. The relationship between parents and children became extremely strained.

But despite the gloating of the KGB, over time, the parents relented, signed the consent, and the children emigrated safely. I always worried, remembering this story and the harsh attitude of Oleg’s parents towards his family, which is so unlike the kindness of southerners. To be fair, I must admit that many years later, when Oleg’s mother died in Tbilisi, and his father moved and lived under the care of Oleg and Ida in America, I learned that parents were not such bad people. When the children decided to leave them and to live separately, they gave them ten thousand rubles to set up an apartment, but the young ones preferred to invest money in leaving and endure the hardships of life with Ida’s grandfather.

Would it possible for us to know whether someone was right in this drama.


Leave a comment