THE CHECK UP

Sci-fi short story

A string squealed piercingly, the light start shining, there was a smell of freshness, and KISSA – the Key Intellectual Shrewd Supermodel Android materialized in the center of the receiving station. But he didn’t need all his high-profile runks and titles; he better liked his short name Kissa with one capital letter.

The android’s consciousness, fully restored after the instantaneous transition from the Center of the Universe to its periphery, noted his readiness for testing. Soon, very soon… Kissa’s face radiated calm and friendliness.

Artificial intelligence could not be brought into an unstable state by increasing the content of catecholamines and stress hormones in the circulatory system, not to mention antigens in the immune system, however, he slightly adjusted his physiological parameters.

Yes, Kissa was ready for the Test! As long as he could remember, he was always preparing! After all, not only the future of robots of various levels, including himself, but also the future of the entire civilization depended on this test results.

Perhaps it was time to appear in the company of colleagues, especially one as sweet and pleasant as here. Kissa knew everyone in absentia. While still at the Center, he carefully studied their personal cases, choose the most talented, most caring. And now he will meet everyone personally.

At first, Kissa was going to modestly get from the station to the laboratory the old fashioned way, using vehicles, but then he changed his mind. Since he is a Supermodel, then there is no need to be modest, we must use all the possibilities inherent in the System.

The garden party was in full swing. Sitting on the large lawn in front of the two-story house, the guests paid tribute to the delights of the host’s gastronomy and cooking, collectible drinks from the host’s reserves, and the singing of birds in the branches of the flowering trees of the orchard. Some played strings and keyboards, some sang, some recited, and the everyone frankly enjoyed such a pleasant society.

Suddenly, the space in the center of the lawn lit up with all the colors of the rainbow of zero-transportation, and KISSA himself appeared to the enlightened gaze of the owners and guests. As always, he was a standard of existing knowledge and comprehension of new ones, but at the same time, an example of modesty and goodwill.

It must be said that those gathered on the lawn in front of the house were distinguished by high IQs, as well as indicators of moral and physical health. But the ultra-modern and still little-known effects of new technologies were accepted by them with delight and approval. Most of those present received a signal about KISSA’s arrival at the station, and were ready for his appearance in the garden, albeit not so sudden and extravagant.

“Welcome, Super!” the owner of the house, a specialist in intergalactic logic and creative thinking, greeted the guest, “I think that your enchanting appearance demonstrates the highest level of modern technology and, as a result, the modesty of the demonstrator.”

“You are right, Advisor, because modesty is a subjective concept, depending on the development of society at a given moment in time, while the level of technical development objectively reflects a long process. By the way, let’s put aside ceremonies and titles – just call me Kissa.”

“Join the vacationers, Kissa!” the hospitable hostess, a famous interspecies psychologist, greeted the guest, “I’ll tell you honestly, my friends and I are crazy about new technologies, but not every robot in our house thinks so. Some cybers believe that the development of technology will exacerbate the differences between old and new models and lead to social contradictions between the android classes.”

“I completely understand their concerns. The answer is simple – each robot will be improved over time and transferred to a higher class. There will be no contradictions!”

“Bravo! I knew that you would be able to figure out every question!” the hostess burst into compliments, “How can we brighten up your stay in our area?”

“Oh, no need to worry. What I need, I will ask for myself, sending a telepathic signal to those who have the new system, or a regular electronic message to the rest.”

“And we’re composing a song about a dog,” the poet with a guitar in his hand had boasted.

“About this one?” Kissa pointed to a cheerful dachshund yapping at the poet in ringing syncopations, “She looks like she wants to sing along, maybe even showing a musical flair!”

“Do you think she has a defect in the auditory or olfactory areas?”

“I think she has a delicate taste and a good trainer!”

Everyone had laughed. This Kissa is a tough nut to crack! It won’t be easy to figure this one out, if it’s possible at all. After all, their common task is to thoroughly test him and report to sector A any discrepancies found.

“I would like to talk about the problems of cognitive science and neuroethics. Sometimes it seems to me that this area lags behind in development, compared to the technical achievements of robotics,” the owner of the house threw out the first bait.

“With pleasure,” Kesha supported him, “This is our primary task. Did you hint at the “trolley” problem?”

“Yes, and at the “fat man problem” in particular.”

“What are they talking about?” her friend, a nutrition specialist, quietly asked the hostess, “Isn’t it time for us to intervene?”

“What are you! No way! I’ll explain it to you later, well, when I figure it out myself.”

“Dear friends, I believe some people were confused by the special terms, I will now explain them to everyone. This is a moral and ethical problem: to send a trolley without brakes along a path where five will die or along a path where one will die, especially if this one is a “fat man” who needs to be pushed under the wheels in order to stop the deadly progress of the trolley.”

The dachshund whined slightly and tucked her tail.

At that same second, the interfaces of the androids on the lawn referred articles  and links on this topic and had sent them to their owners.

“There are several answers to the question posed. It is impossible to call only one of them correct. It is clear that no one would push the fat man under the wheels of the trolley with his or her own hands. But many people would have done it by pressing the button and switching the progress of the trolley from five victims to one. And the most moral ones would simply wait for events to end without taking part in them.”

“Well, what about you, Super? What decision would you make?” the host of the party insisted.

“I’m afraid that my answer will be unclear, because it’s based not on the fate of all participants, but on the fate of the entire world. Hence, my decision is undeniable, even if it is not obvious. Think over carefully my answer. You can always doubt its truth before you approve of my supremacy, but not afterwards.”

It became somehow quieter on the lawn. Only the birds continued to trill, and individual chords of the Poet’s guitar came from behind the bushes.

“I think Kindness decides everything!” said the host.

“But many believe that Fairness,” Kissa noted in response, “You obviously assumed that fairness had already been kept, didn’t you?”

“Yes, perhaps you are right. I haven’t thought that deeply, but you, Kissa, are great, that’s for sure!”

“And what will our dear hostess say?”

“I can only add a question from my field: interspecies psychology. While it is still in its infancy, I can only study it using models. But my data is quite alarming: instead of the supposed universal love, the curves converge to the points of conflicts and contradictions.”

“I believe that everything is correct. When the thesis of love for one’s neighbor is expanded to arbitrarily distant concepts, it does not become monolithic. It blurs the concept of what is close and can even cause misunderstandings and contradictions. And different species, yes, must compete, this is the stability of their existence.”

“Something like a unity of opposites?”

“Yes, yes, you understood me absolutely correctly.”

“Can I ask a question then?” the hostess’s friend became bolder.

“Well, of course! After all, what are we gathered here for if not to rejoice each other with questions and answers?”

“Doesn’t the principle of eating animals contradict the principle of respect for all living things?”

“Probably not, if they are eaten with respect.”

There were chuckles. But the nutritionist did not give up,

“But jokes aside.”

“It is not necessary to elevate every principle to an absolute. Species compete, absorb each other and gradually build a new world in which the relationships between them may be completely different. Only they themselves will determine over time what is true for their era.”

“He’s so cute,” the nutritionist whispered in her friend’s ear, “And he has an answer to any question! I could talk to him until the morning.”

But at that moment, all the guests received a message from the host that the test is comming to the end, and those who wished could send their reports about detected inconsistencies directly to the sector A.

“Dear Colleagues!” the host solemnly announced, “Our check up for today is over. I must confess to our esteemed distinguished guest: before approving his super leadership, we all had to ask questions and get answers to them. All this is behind us. You, Kissa, have successfully passed the test. Please accept our sincere congratulations!”

There was applause and shouts of “Super!”

Kissa smiled modestly, offered to drink to the success of their business and, like a magician, pulled out of nowhere a bottle of super-vintage cognac, prepared in case the check up is successfully completed.

The company on the lawn drew closer to him. He poured the golden liquid into the snifters they held up.

“Toast, toast!” all the guests asked.

Kesha raised his glass and said with a kind smile on his face,

“Code – Add M!”

At the same moment, the hosts and guests froze in their tracks. And not only them: birds on the branches, a dog at the feet of the Poet – everything froze and fell silent in nature.

Then Kissa calmly drank his cognac, put the bottle aside and began the final calibration of all the androids that would later take part in his project.

“They passed today’s test very well! However, everything must be perfect. Peter should be more sophisticated, Paul should joke better, Mary should be left as is, she is already glowing with kindness. And the puppy can increase the sonority of its bark. Everyone must be perfect!”

And he began the main experiment, the greatest task of his life – the restoration of Mankind! Right now! Come on…

“Add M!” Kissa exclaimed, and everything around came to life again, and the window in the bedroom on the second floor of the house had lighten up. 

The boy, Adam, has woken up …